I am such an emotional person today that it is actually annoying! I finished all my fertility testing a couple of weeks ago but I am still waiting for James to do his test (he assures me it will be done this week – I am no longer going to nag him). I always have such a positive attitude throughout the month while we are trying but sure enough the end of my cycle comes and I am met with despair over again. I read something the other day that really hit home: “For a woman who is TTC and every cycle end is met with the reality she is not pregnant it is like she is mourning the child she lost that month.” And that’s how I have been feeling these past couple of months. I have moved on from mourning the little baby we did loose in January and now I am mourning the loss of the baby that “should have been” each month. I must get out of this depressing state! I am sure it is because I am hormonal right now but still, what the heck!! I had a little meltdown today on the phone and my mom assured me everything will be fine. I am lucky to have a supportive family (and friends) who are lifting us up in prayer and encouraging us in our journey. We have an appointment with our fertility specialist on May 6th so we will get some answers and look at our options. I am curious to see what the results of the tests are as I feel like my body is all over the map. I am really excited to have some help finally and some guidance. To be honest, I am sick of trying…. Just tell me when to do it, haha, and please let it work! Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for our appointment with the doctor – that we will have answers if tests came back not normal, that the doctor will have the knowledge he needs to decide what we should try first, and that we will have peace about what is set before us. I will let you know what we find out!
By the way, I appreciate all the comments you all leave! It is encouraging to see who all is praying for us. So please, if you are keeping updated through this blog please leave a comment, even just a “hi”. And if i don’t know you personally but you are reading this I would love to hear from you too. Thanks for your prayers :)
6 comments:
Oh Melissa, Please know that I will definitely keep you in my prayers & will be praying on the day of your appointment. You are a special woman of God & I know that He has great things planned for you and your family.
Dad and I are praying for you. We love you guys.
PS Uncle Matt keeps you in his prayers too.
Melissa, I will be praying for you. May God encourage you lots!
Hey Mel, I still stop by and read your blog once a week. Also, wanted to let you know I am praying for you.
Take care
Mike
Melissa, you are such a wonderful person. I hope you are doing well. I miss our chats. Take care and know you are thought of and are being prayed for.
Hi Melissa,
I've never met you but enjoy reading your blog.I too would love to have another child but after 4 years of trying I felt totally drained and depressed. I found a book that has helped me a lot it's called "The Fertile Female: How the Power of Longing for a Child Can Save Your Life and Change the World" You might find this book helpful too.
I wish you all the best,
Monica
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