There she is!!!

For those of you who I don't have on facebook - there she is! Our beautiful little girl :) Hard to believe I am 22+ weeks now. It seems to be flying by so fast!!!

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Well, this blog has been a long time coming. I just want to thank everyone who has lifted us up in prayer and has been so encouraging to us over the past two years as we have been on our fertility journey! What amazing friends you have been and we/I have been so grateful for all your support! It is with great JOY that we announce we are EXPECTING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!! At the end of January, due date is January 29th, we are expected have a new addition to the McCullough family! God Is Good!

God Is Good, yes, he really is. It is actually kind of humourous as we found out we were pregnant the month before our fertility treatments were suppose to start. I had my prescription waiting to be filled. I took off the month of May from all charting, temperature taking and anything being "timed". I found it was funny that I had no idea what day of my cycle I was on and when I finally looked at a calendar I was day 34. I took a test and sure enough, I was pregnant!

We have had 3 ultrasounds and at each one the baby has been healthy with a strong heartbeat! Last week was our 12 week (3 month) ultrasound and it was amazing to see our perfectly developed little peanut on the screen with 2 arms, 2 legs and loud beating heart. How long I have been waiting to see that image - it was a moment I will never forget!

So thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your love and support. Please continue to lift us up in prayer throughout the next couple of months as this baby grows and develops. This baby is a miracle and such a blessing, I thank God every day for this special opportunity to carry another child and to one day meet this gift from God.

Just another quiet Monday!

Another Monday night here in the Greens on Gardiner Show Home. I will take this quiet opportunity to once again update my blog and reflect on my crazy life. I look forward to Monday nights in the Show Home, even when I know they will be slow. Sometimes peace and quiet is a welcome to change, especially to a mom with a busy 2.5 year old!

The new house is coming along nicely. We had a minor set back when we had a record amount of rail fall and our basement flooded. Unfortunately the carpet all got wet and so did some interior doors, etc. What was really annoying was that the house became too humid and the hardwood floor people had to pull out from doing upstairs. This has probably set us back a couple of weeks in our possession date. Fortunately we still have time before the possession of our current house so this minor hiccup isn't too big of a deal. Now, if we could just get things rolling a little faster I would be happy. I deal so well with assuring my clients that they will get their house on time but I am nagging James and he says I am the worst homeowner he has had to deal with. Ah, the joys of being married to the boss!

Bedtimes with Sommer has come a long way since my last post! James has been working on the house till late at night so I took the chance to get Sommer on a good schedule which has included being in bed by 9. Now, what I think has really helped us is that I have cut out her nap completely so she is exhausted by bedtime. Luckily I have also convinced her daycare provider to do the same. It did take some convincing and she still isn't 100% keen on the idea but it has really helped... a lot! I have done the three warning rule at night because Sommer is the QUEEN of excuses and it has made her stay in her room. Usually the first warning is given up to letting her come out to pee and I have just come to expect this. But after that she is fine! I always hate telling her she can't come out to pee because since the day she became potty trained she has also been sleeping in underwear so really if she has to pee and wets the bed then it's more of a pain for me. (By the way... she has never peed the bed once... not in 8 months!!!) Tonight James is putting her to bed so we will see how he does with the new schedule. I am sure he will have a harder time because he seems to get her SO wound up before bed!

We got home last week from 10 days vacation. We spent 2 days in Calgary and took Sommer to the zoo. She loved it. Love all the animals. I think 2.5 is a perfect age for the zoo! We had beautiful weather and had so much fun seeing my best friend Lyn, Sommer's namesake. After Calgary we went out to Chase, BC for a week with my family. It was such a relaxing time. We had a lakefront house so we put out boat right in on the first day and took it out the last. We went to a neighbouring town and did some shopping. We played croquet, did some fishing, boating, tanning, reading - it was wonderful! Sommer was a trooper on the way home as it was a 16 hour drive! Of course she wanted out of her car seat every once and a while but I did too!

So that's about all that is new around here! Hope everyone is having a great summer!!

I hate bedtime.

I am tired of bedtimes. I hate bedtime. Little Miss Sommer also hates bedtime - so you can imagine my frustration level at this particular time of night. Usually bedtime isn't until 10:00 pm because Sommer is the ultimate night owl. It's like she thinks she will be missing something SO important if she goes to bed early. Usually it's a fight - it starts off nice, sweet, quiet. Patience is in my voice and all my actions. After the 3rd time of her door opening I start to get a little less patient - I start to threaten ("There will be no park tomorrow", "I will take your noiseybox (music box) out of your room"). After this I am starting to get MAD - I will threaten to spank and then I will spank. UGH. Tonight was no different. I am exhausted.

I use to have the perfect child at bedtime. Kiss good night, say prayers, go to bed. And I wouldn't see her to morning. PERFECT. But for the last while (actually for a really long time...) we have had WWIII at bedtime. Doesn't she understand that I would give ANYTHING to go to bed early. Please, someone send me to bed!!! Kids are funny that way. I can remember fighting my parents over an afternoon nap. Why nap when the world is still going on outside my window? Now, I would PAY someone to send me to my room for a nap. Kids have it easy - if only they knew that.

Well I think she is finally asleep. I guess I will start my mountains of laundry that are waiting for me. Please tell me I am not the only parent who hates bedtime???

Thank You

Thank you to all of you who prayed for our appointment today. It went so well and smoothly. We are able to continue to move forward in our journey and get some answers today. It is such an amazing feeling to know that people all over the world are praying for us and are lifting us up to God. I can't even begin to tell you how blessed we are to have you all in our lives. Thank you! Please continue to pray for us as we keep moving along the road God has planned.

What to write???

Sometimes I don't even know where to start when I sit down on my computer to update you all on my life. I don't know whether to write about Sommer or the dogs or James. Maybe it's should be an update on the business or maybe that is too boring. Sometimes I just wish I could really share what's going on inside my heart but scared at the same time that is getting to personal in the blog world. I don't want to depress you with my complicated journey of fertility. I just want to share my heart. Can I really, freely, truly do that? I am not sure.

I think today I will just ask you to pray. Please pray for me as a Mom. Please pray for patience with Sommer who is trying to learn independence - and I try to teach her independence but all within arms reach of me. She is a beautiful little girl and I am blessed to have her. Please pray that I will always remember what a blessing she is to us and how lucky we are to be her parents. I find it hard sometimes to look at what a little girl she has become when I am trying to hold on to the baby side of her. I love the snuggles she still loves to give, the new phrases she comes up with every week, and watching her discover new things around her.

Being a Mom is not the easiest job but I want to be able to say that I did my best. My favorite part of the week is Sunday mornings. When Sommer was younger it was easy for us to skip church because we were tired or something else came up. Now that Sommer is old enough to learn about Jesus we have made it a priority to go to church every Sunday. Our amazing church has such a great kids program. Every Sunday morning before they are dismissed all the kids go up to the front for a quick little lesson. Every Sunday Sommer is the first one up there - sometimes beating the Children's Pastor. It just makes me smile to watch her eagerness and passion at such a young age. I love picking her up from Sunday school and getting the run down of what she learned. I challenge each christian parent to make Sunday School a priority for your child - you will not regret it. Please pray for us as we teach Sommer about her Heavenly Father and the love he has for each one of us.

We have an upcoming appointment on Monday(June 14) and I ask you to pray for us. I always feel nervous about appointments with our specialist and such doctors. Please pray that God will go before us and that his peace will surround us while we are there. Of course, I ask you to pray that God will have this appointment turn out for the best and that we will continue to move forward on this journey. So please, mark it in your calendar and pray for us on the morning of June 14th... I could use everyone praying!

Well, thanks for lifting our family up and following us through the good times and the trials. I appreciate each one of you!

Baby Bentley and Baby Update

Another Monday night in the show home so I might as well keep everyone updated on what is going on in our lives!!! So much has happened this past week!!

The biggest news is that we have a new family member - Bentley McCullough has joined our crazy household. Bentley is a 3 month old Miniature Pinscher who has endless energy! I have always wanted a Min Pin and our local pet store had Min Pins and I just couldn't pass him up. There have been days where I have wondered what I have got myself in to but he his absolutely adorable so it makes up for all his accidents and mischief! Lexis seems to tolerate her new brother and Sommer is absolutely in LOVE with Bentley! I honestly forgot how much work puppies were - I think a newborn was easier than a puppy! He doesn't really sleep through the night unless he is in our bed in my arms - something I am not too fond about. Just like a newborn....

We went to our doctors appointment last Thursday. Turns out there is nothing wrong with us - really??? My levels are all perfect and James is good in his department. I am not sure what the heck is wrong, haha. So now we start a treatment called Clomid and pregnyl. Here is what it is - Clomid is a pill that I will take on days 3-7 of my cycle. This drug encourages strong and healthy follicles to grow. Starting on day 10 I will go through a series of ultrasounds where the tech will measure the size of my egg that will be released during ovulation. Once that egg reaches a certain size and ovulation will be occurring soon I will be given an injection of Pregnyl, a drug that causes ovulation to occur within 24 hours. This will allow for intercourse to be timed with ovulation. Quite the science involved! We will try this for 4 months and then if we still aren't pregnant we will move up to the next stage of fertility treatments - hopefully this won't have to happen. One exciting thing is what when on clomid your chances of twins is 10%! Wouldn't that be something!!

So those are the 2 major developments in our lives this past week. Just thought I would update you!

Road to a Baby Update

I am such an emotional person today that it is actually annoying! I finished all my fertility testing a couple of weeks ago but I am still waiting for James to do his test   (he assures me it will be done this week – I am no longer going to nag him). I always have such a positive attitude throughout the month while we are trying but sure enough the end of my cycle comes and I am met with despair over again. I read something the other day that really hit home: “For a woman who is TTC and every cycle end is met with the reality she is not pregnant it is like she is mourning the child she lost that month.” And that’s how I have been feeling these past couple of months. I have moved on from mourning the little baby we did loose in January and now I am mourning the loss of the baby that “should have been” each month. I must get out of this depressing state! I am sure it is because I am hormonal right now but still, what the heck!! I had a little meltdown today on the phone and my mom assured me everything will be fine.  I am lucky to have a supportive family (and friends) who are lifting us up in prayer and encouraging us in our journey. We have an appointment with our fertility specialist on May 6th so we will get some answers and look at our options. I am curious to see what the results of the tests are as I feel like my body is all over the map. I am really excited to have some help finally and some guidance. To be honest, I am sick of trying…. Just tell me when to do it, haha, and please let it work! Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for our appointment with the doctor – that we will have answers if tests came back not normal, that the doctor will have the knowledge he needs to decide what we should try first, and that we will have peace about what is set before us. I will let you know what we find out!

By the way, I appreciate all the comments you all leave! It is encouraging to see who all is praying for us. So please, if you are keeping updated through this blog please leave a comment, even just a “hi”. And if i don’t know you personally but you are reading this I would love to hear from you too. Thanks for your prayers :)

Learning to Measure

Let's just say that Daddy would be proud... sort of proud. Give her props that she is using a tape measure, on the job site, pretending to measure openings, etc. and she is 2. Never mind that she is yelling out measurements that make completely no sense and would confuse all framers. But she is darn cute pretending to know what she is talking about!

Good Bye Sadie

Well it was a sad day yesterday as James' family's dog got ran over by a car while they were in town visiting us. Sadie was a special part of the McCullough family and things just won't be the same without her. She lived 8 happy years with his family and everyone loved her. No one is totally sure what breed she was but our guesses were part Jack Russell/Chihuahua/Beagle? She had a little prance she did when she walked. It looked like a little march as she would bring her little feet right up in the air. She had a ear piercing bark that she always let out at the most inappropriate time (nap time, movie time, when you were on the phone...). She loved to snuggle and always wanted to be held. When I first started dating James and I would go for the weekend to his family's house (they live in Outlook) Sadie would always sleep in my bed underneath the covers - she would sleep under the covers of any willing participant.

Today we buried Sadie at our acreage. It was sad. Sadie was loved and will be missed. What a special little friend you were Sadie-bo-badie. I hope you are having a smorgasbord of milk-bones, pigs ears and even a little human food in your doggy heaven.

We love you.

Our Caribbean Cruise 2010

I just loved our cruise so much! I just want to go back all the time. Such good weather, food, friends... ah, the life. We went on a 7 day Eastern Caribbean Cruise that stopped at Nassau Bahamas, St. Thomas US Virgin Islands and St. Marrten which is a Dutch/France owned island.
Our cruise debarked from Cape Canaveral, Fl. and the weather when we left was so chilly! Lucky for us it did warm up quickly once we set sail.

Our first stop was Nassau and there we visited the Atlantis Hotel - what an awesome hotel!!! You could easily spend weeks there and never be bored with all it has to offer. We took an aquaventure package where we got to use the water slides, pools, beaches and go to the aquarium. The water was a little cold in the water slides and it was a cool breeze that day so I did spend lot of time on the beach chair - soaking up the beautiful sun.

After a day at sea we embarked at St. Thomas. It is such a great clean and friendly little island. It is the busiest of all the islands so no celebrities were spotted (I am such a celebrity junkie). There we did a snorkeling adventure which was so much fun! The first location we swarm right beside sea turtles, fish, string rays, and a barracuda! And I mean RIGHT beside! Such an awesome experience. The next stop was at a shrip wreck which I thought was totally creepy!! We also fed yellow finned tuna and those suckers are aggressive. Some of you may know that I have a phobia of fish and unfortunately James and our guide thought it would be funny to throw pieces of shrimp at me so that the tuna would attack me - needless to say I didn't last long in the water at that location.

Another day at sea and we arrived at St. Maarten and let's just say that was.... ummm... interesting? St. Maarten (the french side at least) allows European Bathing (*COUGH* NUDE BATHING!!). We didn't realize this until we were debarking from the ship and arrived at the beach. Lucky for us there was no NUDE bathing but the young women beside us in the beach chairs did participate in topless bathing!! I made sure James had his eyes on his book or took him out to lounge in the bathtub temperature water. Thankfully the girls were getting a bit burnt on their chest and had to lay on their stomachs for most of the afternoon. It was a different experience let's just say! Not my style.... that's for sure!

It was a nice vacation with our friends. We missed Sommer so much and I feel like she got so big while we were gone. She stayed with James' parents for 4 days and my grandparents for 5 days. She was spoiled, out of schedule, and played out by the time we returned. I can't wait for next year!!!

HELLO!!! I AM BACK!!!

Easter Sunday with Mommy and Sommy - Annual picture by the piano

Silly Sommy with Daddy - What a goof :)

I ran into a friend of mine at a baby shower (HI HEATHER!) and she told me it was time to update my blog! I guess she is right - so much for my New Years Resolution!!?!

This past March has been an absolute CRAZY month for our family! We got back from a Caribbean Cruise and our month went into full swing. We packed up all the junk in our house one weekend, cleaned it the next, sold it the weekend after, participated in The Spring Home & Garden Show for Trademark Homes, and just opened up our Show Home this past weekend. It has been a whirlwind month! Now I am working Monday nights in the Show Home so I plan on updating my blog when it is slow in the show home - plenty of time to think!

As I mentioned, we sold our house!!! The market has picked up in Regina so we wanted to take advantage of the spring market so we decluttered the house and put it up for sale. 4 days later we had multiple offers and accepted a full price offer with a July 31st possession. We are currently building a house in Lakeridge for us to live in while we build our dream home at the acreage we bought last year. I am not necessarily a "Northender" but I will always give something a try once - especially when there is money to be made. So we plan on having that home finished by the end of July so we can move right from our home in White City into Lakeridge.

Sommer is growing up so fast - crazy how that happens. I looked at her today and realized there is no baby left in her. Sometimes I could see it in her cheeks or her eyes but not now. As you can see from the above pictures she has turned into a beautiful (if I do say so myself) little girl. Her hair is curly and she cheeks are so plumb and her little eyes are a deep dark brown. I just love her! The things she has come up with lately really crack me up. I love watching her try to put things together and make sense of the world around her... I love learning how a 2 1/2 year old thinks the world works. Just priceless.

Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See?

Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See? is a favorite book of ours. Sommer loves sitting down and reading books - especially when she can read them too. We often hear her reading to her babies or by herself on the couch. Her voice is beautiful and I never get tired of hearing her read. She is precious. We love her!

Faithful

Faithful: Steven Curtis Chapman

I am broken, I am bleeding,
I'm scared and I'm confused,
but You are faithful.
Yes You are faithful.
I am weary, unbelieving.
God please help my unbelief!
'Cause You are faithful.
Yes You are faithful.

I will proclaim it to the world.
I will declare it to my heart
And sing it when the sun is shining.
I will scream it in the dark.

You are faithful!
You are faithful!
When you give and when You take away,
even then still Your name
is faithful!
You are faithful!
And with everything inside of me,
I am choosing to believe
You are faithful.

I am waiting for the rescue
that I know is sure to come,
'cause You are faithful.
Yes You are faithful.
I've dropped anchor in Your promises,
and I am holding on,
'casue You are faithful.
God You are faithful.

I will proclaim it to the world.
I will declare it to my heart
And sing it when the sun is shining.
I will scream it in the dark.

You are faithful!
You are faithful!
When you give and when You take away,
even then still Your name
is faithful!
You are faithful!
And with everything inside of me,
I am choosing to believe You're faithful.

So faithful...

Though I cannot have the answer
that I'm wanting to demand,
I'll remember You are God
and everything is in Your hand.
In Your hands you hold the sun, the moon,
the stars up in the sky,
for the sake of Love, You hung Your own Son
on the cross...to die...

You are faithful...
Yes, You are faithful...
When you give and when You take away,
even then, great is Your faithfulness!
Great is Your faithfulness!

And with everything inside of me,
I am choosing to believe You're faithful!
Oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh...
When you give and when You take away,
even then still Your name
is faithful!
You are faithful!
And with everything inside of me,
I am choosing to believe...

...You're faithful...

A time for mourning and a time for dancing.

I have been wrestling with the thought of posting this blog but I have decided that I should. There are many people out there who have been praying for us and our journey of having another baby and I truly thank each one of you. I am sure this is going to be a long post because I have so much to tell you so bear with me.

Last month (end of January) we found out we were pregnant. After 13 months of trying you can imagine my excitement when I took my, what seemed like, 100th pregnancy test and saw a faint positive sign in the window. I called James right away and asked him to come home to reassure me that it was in fact positive. Unfortunately he wouldnt come back home as he was already in the city. I ran around looking at it in different light almost not believing what I was seeing. I told myself to calm down and call the doctor in the morning to get them to confirm it. I was on cloud nine as you can all imagine. The next morning I took another test at 6:00 am because I couldn't sleep. And again it was positive. I called the doctor and went into the lab for blood work and a urine test. I couldn't believe it and we were so excited! The lab didn't call back the next day and I was going frantic... maybe I was imagining the positive sign... maybe this was a dream! Finally 3 days later the doctors office called and confirmed the news - we were pregnant!

I phoned my sister right away and we screamed on the phone and laughed. What a great feeling it was to know that God does answer prayers. We kept playing phone tag with my parents and on the weekend we finally told them the good news, well Sommer did. We had bought her a t-shirt that said "I'm the BIG sister!" Of course my parents were so excited! We all were just so thankful. We had plans to tell James' parents the next weekend because we were going down for his sister's birthday and basketball game. I just hated keeping it a secret from family, especially when we had waited so long for this day.

That next Monday when I got home from gymnastics with Sommer I noticed some blood after I went to the bathroom. I reassured myself that spotting was normal in a pregnancy... many women spot in early pregnancy (or throughout their pregnancy) and are totally fine. But I just couldn't get those bad thoughts out of mind. I called my dad and told him to pray but also told reassured him that it was probably nothing to be nervous about. All night I was just sick thinking about the "what ifs" and I could hardly sleep. Tuesday morning I woke up and I was bleeding heavier. My heart sunk. I called the doctors office and they had me go to the ER but also told me there was probably nothing the doctors could do because I was just over 5 weeks. James and I went to the hospital and the whole time I was thinking "this can't be possible God. What are you doing to me?" It was almost like I was in a cloud or thick fog.

We got to the hospital around 11:00 am and luckily they got me right into a room to be examined. When I saw the amount of blood I was passing I knew it was over - I had lost the baby that I had waited 13 months to conceive. The doctors examined me and prepared us for the worst - which I knew was already happening. At 2:00 pm they got us in for an ultrasound. I lay there on the table while the tech said, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" I couldn't even reply back to her and was almost in tears and wanted to yell at her to look at the paperwork and see why I am here... don't congratulate me on anything. She was quiet for the rest of the ultrasound. She was clicking the computer mouse and waving the probe over my belly - a belly that no longer would have a baby in it. When she was finished they sent us back to wait in a chair area until the doctor was ready for us.

After what seemed like hours the doctor arrived. He tried to find a private place to talk with us but there were no rooms available. So he pulled us over to the side of the hallway and told us that we were loosing the pregnancy. There in a cold hospital hallway my dreams were shattered and I felt broken... the unthinkable had happened to us. The doctor explained that I could have minor surgery (DNC) to remove what was left in my uterus or there was medication that I could take too. I didn't want anything - I just wanted that baby back. He left to go make arrangements to refer me to a specialist, which looking back now was a blessing but at the time I didn't think so. So there we sat, in a chair area of the hospital, numb and in disbelief. I was balling and just kept questioning why God would do this to me? I felt like He had played such a horrible joke on us. I just didn't understand it.

The OB/GYN came and talked to us. She examined me and felt that surgery and/or medication were not necessary because of the amount of blood I was passing. She told us how common it was for people to miscarriage. She also tried to make me feel better by saying that it wasn't a baby I had lost - rather a mass of cells that didn't properly align... like that would make me feel any better? To me it was our baby. To me it was a sibling for Sommer. To me it was my answer to prayers that we had been praying for over a year for. And it was gone. All gone.

We went home that night and I looked at Sommer. She was beautiful and funny and perfect. I knew God had blessed me by giving me her but I was still mad. Why had He given us this answer to prayers and then taken it away? I didn't and still don't understand... but I guess I am not suppose to. It just wasn't meant to be. We had told Sommer she was going to be a big sister and that Mommy had a baby in her tummy. I was dreading the moment when she would talk about the baby and we would have to explain it to her. And unfortunately that time came the next morning at breakfast. Sommer was eating her cereal with me and said "Mommy! You have a baby in your tummy!" And I replied with "No Sommy, that baby is no longer in my tummy... it's gone to be with Jesus." Just at that moment James came down the stairs and Sommer said to him "Daddy, Mommy's baby is not in her tummy. It lives with Jesus now." And that was it, to her in made perfect sense. A perfect example of having faith like a child.

So these past couple of weeks have been hard. I have had to wrestle with a lot of sadness and questions - questions I will not have answers for. Last week I went for an ultrasound to make sure there was no left over tissue in my uterus. I sat in the waiting room with all these pregnant women going for a glimpse or their babies. And I was going to confirm that there was no remaining pieces of mine. Life is just not fair.

So that is the sad part of the story. A story that I wish wouldn't have happened but now I am trying to move past. It still hurts writing this out and reliving the sad day. But I think it is healthy for me. I just couldn't keep it inside. For those of you who are reading this and feel hurt that I hadn't told you in person please don't be hurt. I just haven't been ready to talk about it out loud. But now I am. I am healing and have worked through the dark part of it. It is sad yes but I honestly have faith that God will teach me something through this horrible experience. He isn't through with me yet.

Last Monday I had an appointment with my doctor. The appointment had been booked for a couple of months and it was to get my referral sent to a fertility specialist. I went to the appointment and my doctor said she would send the referral but also told me to expect a long wait. While I was in that appointment my friend Joan called. Her daughter is the doctor I had been getting referred to. Joan was just calling to let me know she had talked to her daughter and that her daughter said that the wait list currently had 800+ women on it and the wait would be over 12 months. I was sad and felt so alone. Why can't I just be normal and get pregnant. And I didn't want to wait another 12 months to start testing! But I also knew there was nothing I could do about it... I would have to wait.

Yesterday I went to a follow up appointment with the specialist I had in the hospital. He was just going to review my ultrasound results from last Friday and let me know if everything was okay. I didn't want to go - I knew everything had been okay at the ultrasound but I still went. When I got to his office the receptionist informed me that Dr. G (the one I was suppose to meet) was out of the office but that another doctor (Dr. T) would review my results with me. I had brought all my past fertility charts with me for some unknown reason, I had just felt like I was suppose to bring them. After a couple of minutes they called my name and I went to the room with the nurse. Dr. T came in and introduced himself to me and said that he was covering Dr. G's patients for the day. He went on to tell me that my ultrasound came back clear and that all my levels had returned to normal. He then asked me if I was trying to get pregnant. I said "Yes, I have been trying for almost 15 months now and I feel like it has consumed my mind. It's all I think about and really all I want." I couldn't believe what Dr. T said next, he said "Oh really? I am a fertility doctor. That is all I do. I only work with people who are trying to get pregnant. If you are at the point of wanting help then I can help you?" My mouth almost hit the floor. I had just been told last week that I was on a waitlist with 800 people, to expect a year, but here I was meeting with a fertility specialist who by chance was covering the other doctors patients for the just that day. Within the next 15 minutes he told me the steps we were going to take, set up the test for James to take to see if everything was okay with him, and had me set up for my test that would tell him if everything was okay with me. He also discussed what would happen after those test results and said if everything came back clear he would start me on the treatments. JUST LIKE THAT! In a matter of one divine appointment I had just bypassed a year of waiting. GOD IS GOOD!

I am just in awe of how God works behind the scenes of our lives. From probably what was the worst experience of my life came a opportunity that could only have been crafted by God himself. If I had not miscarried, I would not have gone to the hospital, I would not have been seen by the on-call specialist, I would have not had an ultrasound, I would not have had an appointment with that specialist to review my results, I would not have had to meet with another doctor who was covering for that specialist, who happened to be a fertility doctor, who happened take me as his patient and help us get this process started this month - not in 14 months.

So that fills you in on what has happened in out lives this past month. It has been the hardest month I have had to go through but God didn't forget about us. At the end of it He gave us a reminder that He is in control. He really is... even when I doubt Him. We appreciate all your prayers and ask you to continue with them.

A decade in review.

A whole decade has gone bye and it just shocks me to think about what all happened in the past 10 years. It's absolutely CRAZY!! A blog that I frequently read, Muddy Boots, did a decade in review: so here is mine!

2000: I was in grade 10!! Y2K had the world in a frenzy and we all thought the world was going to come to a crashing end at midnight. If you didn't think the world was going to end then you were busy getting ready for the return of Christ which many people thought would also happen. I had just got my drivers license and drove the family's second car, a Buick Cutlass - classy!

2001: Grade 11 at Campbell Collegiate! No one will forget the terrible terrorist attack of September 11. I still get goose bumps when I watch footage of that horrible day in NYC. It changed the world in many ways. I lived at home with my parents, nothing too exciting really. I'm sure if I pulled out my old diary I would read funny comments about boyfriends I had, crazy times with my girl friends, etc. but nothing seems to stand out.

2002: Graduation from Campbell Collegiate! Wow, I felt so old at the time but man was I young and immature. I had a stressful year of self discovering and learning who God wanted me to be. I lost myself and found myself and gave my parents a run for their money, that's for sure. I decided to go for a year of Bible School and that fall attended Canadian Bible School.

2003: Freshman in College at Canadian Bible School. I lived in dorms and made many amazing friends! I went on a life changing trip to downtown Toronto where we lived in a homeless shelter for 10 days. I met James at CBC and spoke to him for the first time in April during the last week of school - never imagined we would be where we are now! In May 2003, James came to Regina to take me out to watch a football game. We have spent every weekend since then together. My parents moved to Vancouver, Washington (just outside of Portland, Oregon) in June 2003. I moved in with my grandparents. That summer we took turns traveling to Regina/Outlook and had a great summer together. In the fall I enrolled in University of Regina's social work program and James went to University of Saskatoon for Kinesology. On December 27, 2003, after 6 months of dating, James proposed to me while on a hike in Portland, Oregon. What a whirl-wind year for us!!!

2004: Decided that I didn't want to be a social worker and transferred over to the U of R's Arts department. I decided to major in Psychology. I also planned a wedding!! James and I traveled every weekend, taking turns doing the driving. In April James left for 4 months to go to BC for tree planting. While he was gone I planned the wedding (without having my mom or James near me!). James returned in August and on August 28, 2004 we got married! We went on a honeymoon to Banff, Alberta. That December we went to Orlando with my family for Christmas!

2005: James and I enjoyed our first year as a married couple. We both attended the U of R full time in the Arts department. James worked for Crawford Homes, a home building company in Regina and I worked for Living Hope Alliance Church as a Admin. Assistant. That summer James left again in April for treeplanting. Made for a really long summer without him! We bought our first house, on Mullin Ave., that year. What a great home that was!!

2006: We continued on with School for most of 2006 - same boring life of a poor student! We decided to build a our first new home that winter. I decided to no longer attend school and in June '06 I took a job as receptionist at Royal LePage Regina Realty while I took my license as a Realtor. James also decided to not attend University and he bought a new home exterior company from a man who was retiring. In August we sold our home on Mullin Ave. and had to move in with my grandparents until our new home was finished in November. Luckily for us my grandparents built a new house right beside us!

2007: In January we decided to try for a baby and the next month we found out we were pregnant! We went on a cruise in February during which I was incredible sick! I was probably sick for most of this year... or on meds to not make me sick! In February I also became a licensed Realtor in Regina. James' company was doing extremely well, especially with the huge housing boom in Regina and surrounding area. In July I went and visited my parents in Washington. At an ultrasound in August we found out we were having a baby girl - a shock to us because we were really thinking we were having a boy! I turned 23 in October - and I thought I was so grown up. On October 25, 2007 at 4:36 pm, after 17 hours of labour, we welcomed our greatest blessing: Sommer Lyn McCullough. She weighed 6 lbs 5 oz. That was the best year of my life so far. In November we opened up a new company: Trademark Homes Inc. with our friends the Cressman's.

2008: We enjoyed this new role of parenting and watching Sommer learn so many new things! Once again, we decided to build another new house, this time in a little community of White City/Emerald Park which is 10 km outside of Regina. My grandparents also decided to build another new house - again, right next door to us! At the end of June we traveled to Orlando, Fl. for a reunion with everyone from my mom's side of the family! We sold our house and moved in with my grandparents again until our house was completed in September 2008. We became Aunt Melissa, Uncle James and Cousin Sommer on August 30, 2008 when James' sister had baby Mara. Our little girl turned 1 in October and we could hardly believe how fast that year had flown bye!

2009: We did a lot of traveling this past year: Portland, San Diego, Las Vegas. I guess we wanted to go as many places as possible while Sommer was still flying for free! In February we decided that it was time to add to our family - something that we are still trying to do but we are trusting God to bless us with another child. This year we have been reminded that everything is done in God's timing, not ours, and only He is in control. It was a year that stretched me and made me grow deeper in God's promise to us. My verse for 2009 was Jeremiah 33:3: "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." I strongly believe this verse and know that God WILL hear our prayers and he WILL show us things we can not imagine!! God is so good. Another one of James' sisters had a baby in March, baby Kaylah, making us Aunt/Uncle for the second time! Sommer turned 2 in October, seriously hard for me to wrap my head around. She is now potty trained and in 2 weeks I will be registering her for Pre-School!

It was great to look back at this past decade and see how much can change in 10 years! I also look forward to what 2010 has in store for the McCullough family. I hope you stay turned to see what happens on our journey!