I should be in bed... yes, I should be! But every time I close my eyes I start thinking about how soon this baby is coming and how unprepared I am. Now, I know I am not unprepared. I have been nesting for the past 9 months. The nursery is ready, my house is ready, I am ready. But I have to tell myself that over and over again. I have been having these really weird dreams lately about delivering the baby and then being the one responsible for her. I just dream that I don't know what I am doing and that I will be so unprepared for motherhood. But is anyone really prepared and gifted right off the bat with their first child? I doubt it. It takes some trial and error, and also some good advice from people around you. I just think over and over again about a nurse handing Sommer to me and then saying "go ahead, feed her." What the heck? I don't know how to feed her yet!! I have seen 1 movie in Prenatal, trust me, that doesn't make me an expert by any means. Ahhh! This is very different than babysitting, haha. There is no one going to appear at the end of the night and pay me and send me home. I am the one now who has the responsibility (or soon will have) of taking care of this precious angel and knowing what she wants and when. But I will be okay. I'm sure every new mom before they have their baby has some sort of anxiousness about what is going to come in the next couple of weeks. I am sure I am normal... I am... right???
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
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You are completely normal. It is a daunting thing to be responsible for another person. You are ready, and with God's help able. You love her with all of your heart and with that in place everything else will fall into place. Relax, savour the journey, and drink in these opportunities for undisturbed sleep. You are going to be a great Mom Mellie, and in fact you already are! She is blessed to have you!
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